


Is that a...?

by iloveitblue



Series: Prompts [76]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, Phil is a moose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-09
Updated: 2015-09-10
Packaged: 2018-02-12 11:18:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2107824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iloveitblue/pseuds/iloveitblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where there is a moose in the living room. Why is there a moose in the living room?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

There have been times where Tony Stark had been surprised. 

Other times, less times, he’d be speechless.

Rare times, he’d do a double take.

But this was the first time that he did all three at the same time.

"Is that… A moose?" Tony asks, retracing his steps into the living room where Clint was watching Dog Cops with a giant monstrosity.

"Yeah." Clint answers like Tony had just asked him if he wanted pineapples on his pizza.

Tony purses his lips in thought before he shakes his head. “Let me try that again. What’s a moose doing here?”

Clint looks over his shoulder and straight at Tony. “It’s the 12th.” He says as if that answers anything.

"Yeah. So? What’s that got to do with anything?"

"He doesn’t need to go to SHIELD on the 12th. He gets this mandatory day-off. and by extension, I do too." Clint turns back to his show as he explains.

"SHIELD employs animals?" Tony walks closer to the animal and stares at it. 

"I wouldn’t do that if I were you. He doesn’t like people much. He’s still got his taser." Clint warns him.

Now, why would a moose need a taser? 

Out of nowhere, although it was highly possible that he was from the kitchen, Thor comes into the living room, carrying a mug of Asgardian ale. Thor makes a bee line for the moose and pats its head. “How are you today, Son of Coul?”

Wait. What?

The moose snorts? hee-haws? Tony’s not sure, but the moose makes a sound that moose are supposed to and Thor bellows out a hearty laugh. “It is indeed, mighty friend.” Thor declares putting his arm haphazardly around the moose.

"Wait- Is that-" Tony starts, but was interrupted by the rest of the Avengers pouring in.

Steve pats his back and makes his way to the couch and sits next to Clint. Natasha claims the single chair and Bruce takes up the floor. Which wasn’t at all weird since it was Friday and movie night did start at 6pm. 

What was weird was that they weren’t acknowledging the weirdness of the moose in the room. 

"Tony, are you sitting down, or not?" Steve asks him over his shoulder.

"Are you all not bothered by the thing in the room?" Tony vaguely gestures at the moose on the opposite side of the room, eyeing Tony’s $4,000 fern.

"I thought Phil was invited to movie night?" Bruce asks.

"He is! But that’s a moose! That’s not Agent! or have you all gone crazy?"

"You didn’t read your e-mail, did you?" Natasha throws a piece of popcorn in the air and catches it with her mouth.

"J?" Tony leers at the ceiling.

"Well, sir, I did try to tell you, but you specifically told me to skip any and all mails from SHIELD listings."

They all stare at him. “What? If it was that important, they’d call.” Tony shrugs.

After a brief - Natasha wanted to get on with the movie, saying  _it isn’t her fault Tony was too lazy to listen to his AI about Phil’s “condition” and to get on with Much Ado already._  - explanation about Coulson’s thing every 12th of the month, Tony sits next to Steve and as far away from Phil the moose as possible.

And isn’t it just wonderful that his life has come to a point where a moose is in his home and he accepts it as a fact when his friends tell him that its one of them. 

Tony Stark has a weird life.


	2. Chapter 2

“Okay, are we not going to acknowledge that there is a real live moose in the living room?” Tony asked after thirty seconds of silence. So much for that then.

“I thought we just did.” Steve answered.

“Yes. We did. And are we not going to discuss this any further? I mean, there has to be a story to this. Are you not curious?”

There was unanimous murmurs of no’s and not really’s from the team. “Bullshit.” Tony declared over them. “I mean come on. Why a moose? What’s that about? And why the 12th? What’s so significant about it? How long has this been going on? What exactly is this mutation and can we replicate it? Are there parts in the moose gene that can somehow help the propagation and development of mankind? So many questions. Are you not one bit curious?”

“I guess I am kind of curious about the medical implications of whatever is going on with Phil.” Bruce shrugged.

“That’s it, Bruce. FOR SCIENCE!” Tony declared grandly.

“If you think you’re touching one hair on Phil while he’s like this, then you’re technically dead man walking.” Clint informed them.

“Phil doesn’t like anyone touching him with the exception of Clint while he’s in this form. Not even Fury can get close enough.” Natasha told them.

“Not even you?” Steve asked,

“I tried to once, he tried equally as hard to throw me against the wall. I never tried again.” Natasha shot a popcorn into the air, and Clint caught it. “I advise you to do the same. Or not. I can’t tell you what to do.” She smirked, letting all of them know that it was probably a bad idea to let Tony do what he was planning to do.

“Okay. New plan. Tell us what happened.” Tony pointed at Clint and sat down on the couch next to Thor. 

“Why?”

“Because SCIENCE, you asshole.”

“That’s not a real answer, jerkface.”

“It means because I want to know and since you or your boyfriend over there won’t let us touch him, then you have the moral obligation to answer any and all questions we have about the situation.” 

Clint scoffed. “No, I don’t.”

“No, you don’t. But it would be the unasshole-y thing to do.”

Clint shrugged. “It’s not my story to tell.”

“Phil?” Tony asked. 

The moose made a sound. “The Son of Coul says he doesn’t care either way.” Thor translated.

“You sure?” Clint asked, and when Phil just nodded, Clint sighed. “Okay then. It started around 5 years before the initiative was even thought of. We were on a mission in the outskirts of the mountain ranges of Canada to inspect a sort of astronomical anomaly that was reported in by a bunch of backpackers. Now, we know that that was just another tunnel leading to the bifrost, but during that time, we didn’t. Phil and I were sent on to do an inspection, just to check the scene out and stuff like that. Turns out, there was a witch living in the woods. Based on the name, I guess we know now that she’s Asgardian. We never really got her name, but we managed to anger her.

“It’s ironic really, because we weren’t even looking for her. We just stumbled upon the cottage trying to get away from the snowstorm. Phil was snooping around, while I was trying to warm myself by the fire when the witch came back. She got mad and words were yelled, and the next thing we knew, Phil was sparkling. And then he turned to this. 

“I tried apologizing and explaining to her what had happened but in the end, the best I could do was to shorten Phil’s sentence from a lifetime down to 10 years.”

“Why’d you never asked for Thor’s help then?” Bruce pointed out.

“Yeah, I bet he can talk to the witch.” Steve agreed.

“I guess I could convince this witch to lift the curse if I were to talk to her.” Thor shrugged.

“Nah man, I promised her I wouldn’t bother her again. Besides, this is the ast year of the curse. We’ve only got a few more months. And this way, Phil is required to rest at least once a month. Silver lining, if you ask me. Right, Phil?”

The moose made a noise.

“Right. So there you go. That’s the story.”

“So the transformations involve magic?” Tony made a face. “I’m out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Here on tumblr](http://promptmephlint.tumblr.com/post/128789298941/to-be-honest-i-dont-even-get-the-first-part)

**Author's Note:**

> [Here on tumblr](http://promptmephlint.tumblr.com/post/94253176876/more-there-have-been-times-where-tony-stark)


End file.
